Monday, January 14, 2013

Sometimes, I feel like a bug...


So, there are going to be some posts that some of you may have already read. Over the last couple of years, I have written various reflections ranging from relating Spongebob Squarepants to our faith to breaking down the Litany of Humility, and I have already shared them. This post is going to be one of those posts, but it’s evolved since I last wrote it. So…here goes!

I look around at the world we live in, and I see so much devastation. As I write this…er, type this…I think about the Columbine shootings. I think about the Aurora, Colorado shooting. The Virginia Tech shooting. The LA street riots and police brutality. I think about those sweet, precious children being killed in Connecticut. I think about the thousands of sweet, precious babies who are aborted every single day. And, if you live in the Lubbock area, you’ve probably recently heard about an alleged murder of a little two year old by her caregiver.

Such sadness. It’s no wonder that hatred exists in this world. Can you imagine being the mother or the father of that little girl who was found buried in a backyard? Can you imagine how much anger you would hold against the people responsible for the death of her?

I’d like to tell you a story…
When I was a sophomore in college, I was still attending South Plains College in Levelland. Every single day I’d make the drive to and from Levelland from the Maeker house. Not gonna lie….kinda got a little old. Anyway…one day, after a very long day of class, I got in my car and hit 114 to go to Lubbock. As I was stopped at a red light, I noticed a little winged bug on my driver-side window. I thumped the glass to try to get it to fly off. It didn’t. I thought, “Well, once I’m driving, like, 50 miles an hour, he’ll definitely be flying away.”

Well…about 5 miles down the road, the Silver Bullet (my ’92 Ford Tempo), was traveling at 70 miles an hour…and that bug was still hanging on to that window. I was impressed. Then I got annoyed. Why didn’t that bug just let go?? The wind and the speed of the car were beating the crap out of him. Then I felt bad for him. Yes, I felt bad for a tiny little bug. All I thought was, “You poor guy. If you would just let go of the window…if you would just let go and use the wings God gave you, you could simply fly away. You wouldn’t have the crap continuing to get beat out of you, and you would be free and happy.”

I like to think that we’re a lot like that bug sometimes.

Things happen in our life.  Things that break our heart. Things that we can't believe. Things that rock us to the very core of our being and who we are.  People hurt us, and we hurt others.  Things happen that we don't necessarily understand and will never understand, and we hang on to them.  We cling to them for dear life, but as we cling to whatever it is that causes brokenness within our life, it beats the crap out of us.  It beats us physically, emotionally, and, most importantly, spiritually.  Just like that little bug getting beat by the wind whipping around my car. 

If we would just let go and trust that God will give us wings to fly and not crash and burn, life would be so much easier. More joyful. Just….better. 

The neat thing is that God has already given us wings to fly. He gives us the gift of faith. He gives us His infinite love. He gives us the Church. He gives us his very self crucified on the cross. He gives us each other. Those, my friends, are the things which help us to let go. They give us wings so we won’t crash and burn after letting go.

The message of this post is this: Forgiveness.

I have been wronged so much in my life. I have had guys break my heart, and there have been times that I’ve chosen to harbor hatred or anger towards them. Let me tell you, that choice to cling to the hurt that they caused me sucked so much out of my life. It’s like in that song, “Forgiveness” by Matthew West. There’s one line towards the end of the song that says that the one who forgiveness frees is YOU.

I’ve also withheld forgiveness from myself.  I’m human, and I’ve done dumb things.  There have been moments in which I have totally lost sight of who I am and who I am called to strive to become.  Many times, I choose to hold on to my failings and not forgive myself. That sucks the life out of me, too.  But here’s what I’ve discovered through some personal reflection: The Lord chooses to forgive me almost instantly. Even if I don’t say, “I’m sorry,” after I do something stupid, He still patiently and lovingly waits for me to run back to Him. He is pure perfection, and he still wants to forgive me. If I don’t forgive myself, it’s like I’m taking a huge poo on His forgiveness and His unfailing love.




So why is there so much hatred in this world? I honestly think part of the reason is because we choose not to forgive. We choose to hang on to the wrongdoings of others. We choose to hang on to the wrongdoings that we commit ourselves.

When I think about all those people who have committed such horrible acts like the shooting in Connecticut or the woman who killed a two year old baby, I always think of what C.S. Lewis said, “Being a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable in others because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”  We must always love. It must be the absolute first thing we choose to do.

So as we close this reflection up, take a moment and look inside yourself. Are you like that little bug today? What are you holding on to? How is it affecting your life?

Now…stop. Stop letting it rule your life. Stop letting it rule your decisions. Stop letting it beat you up and suck the life out of you. Just let it go. Forgive him. Forgive her. Forgive them. Forgive yourself. Let it go and fly. Even if you let go and feel like you’ve fallen, you will have fallen into the greatest place ever: The arms of Christ.  Let it go.


“Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil…And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.” – Ephesians 4:25-27 & 32



Peace be with you :o)

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